We often say that emotional intelligence is a much better predictive sign of professional success than intellect—and, with it, our capacity to build trusting relationships with our counterparts. Yet, we are quick to move into defensiveness—if only through what is called the negativity bias. Remember this evaluation meeting during which you were lauded for 12 qualities or achievements, and your manager underlined one point for improvement…And what did you keep in mind? Brooding over this imperfection most likely.

Brené Brown studied for 10 years this notion of vulnerability. She schematically identified two categories of persons: those who really believe in their value (and think that they deserve to be appreciated), and those who question their value, and wonder whether they really deserve to be appreciated. The latter find interpersonal relationships more difficult, of course. How can you switch to the first category? The key consists in having the courage to accept being imperfect. And even to transform our vulnerabilities in a distinctive characteristic, if not an asset.

A nice invitation to let go of our utopic quest for perfection.

To watch: The power of vulnerability, Brené Brown, TEDxHouston, TED.com, December 2010.