Staying With Conflict

Staying With Conflict

Some conflict cannot be resolved in the short term. How to adapt to this situation?

Author(s): Bernard Mayer

Publisher: Jossey-Bass

Date of publication: 2009

Manageris opinion

Written by an expert recognized in the field of conflict resolution, this book starts from an observation that is strangely often neglected, i.e., that some disputes cannot be resolved! Or the solution is so far in the future and requires such deep changes that the stakeholders are probably doomed to live with it for the rest of their lives. So what is one to do in such situations?

The author shows that this observation requires that conflict be dramatically rethought. With insolvable conflicts, trying to “win over” the opposing side is illusory. It is consequently preferable to consider the other side as a sort of partner, with whom periods of tension alternate with periods of calm, but with whom the lines of communication must be kept open, even though there is little hope of arriving at a permanent solution. It is also important take advantage of every opportunity to make progress and baby steps in the right direction, with no delusions as to whether the situation has moved forward once and for all. Things are very fragile in these long-standing conflicts. This is the recurrent message and philosophy that the author attempts to convey - namely, save energy, exercise self-protect and avoid being consumed by the conflict; learn to live with it and despite it, rather than through or for it.

This message will undoubtedly speak to all readers confronted with this type of situation, whether in the professional, associative or familial sphere.